Aed jokes
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”
The principal's office smells nice.
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
My dad raped my mom, now I have a brother.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.
Rape jokes aren’t funny!!! And definitely not something to joke about, what’s wrong with ppl, like seriously what a world we live in. This is sick!
A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."
The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
What do you call a taco in bed?
Es(tá co)stado.
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.