Aed jokes
Why can't orphans sign up for sports?
They have to have a parent's signature.
What do you call a peanut on the allergy table?
A kill streak.
There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.
They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.
God: Why is the teenager so short?
Angel: I don't know.
God: I said, "Strong as a bear!"
Angel: No, you said, "Ass hair."
God: No, I didn't!
If Trump pooped in a toilet, the toilet would die.
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.
Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.
My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
There are two Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
A cop.
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?
A walkie-Torquay.
What do you expect when you get out of a bar?
Your mom naked LOLOLOLOL.
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:
TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.
Why is an orphan really good at being naughty?
Because they have no one to tell them off.
Uranus caught a 3-meter flatty while surfing. Check the tail still kicking. Deadly, my bruz!