Aed jokes
A block of gold walked into a bar. The bartender said, “AU, get out!”
I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
Why aren't orphans good at Monopoly?
They don't know what a house is.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
Q: How did the skeleton know it would rain? A: He read the weather forecast.
Uranus has a lot of poop. Yeah. That is my joke.
Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?
To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.
You get a deep voice, you shit talk to 5 year olds.
An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.
What would you call a gay man's couch? A Homo Sectional.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why can't orphans sign up for sports?
They have to have a parent's signature.
What do you call a peanut on the allergy table?
A kill streak.
There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.
They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.