Aed jokes

What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?

Free delivery XD

Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.

My ex died today.

I also lost my job as a butcher.

"Most Deadly Sport"

Playing chicken with a train!

SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!

When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.

At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters

'PNEIS'

and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.

What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.

Q. What is the most endangered creature in India?

A. The baby girl.

Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?

"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."

Q: Why can orphans swim?

A: They have or-fins.

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.

Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.

What’s a gay person’s favorite book?

The dictionary.