Aed jokes
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."
What song does an orphan hate?...
"I'm so lonely."
You look like a 2020 hologram of COVID-19.
How do you call a black pilot?
A pilot, you racist.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
What do you call a man who can fly? A flying man.
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.
Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.
Little Johnny: What are you doing?
Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.
Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
What is a doe called with no legs?
•" No legged deer."
What do you call a deer with no ears?
•" No eared deer."
What do you call a deer with no eye?
•" No eye deer."
XDDDDDD
A father awaits the birth of his first child.
The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
What is red and looks like a zebra?
My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs? Nice boobs!
Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!
What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have a touchy feeling for kids.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."