Advice

Advice jokes

Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.

Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:

"What advice do you have for people out there?"

As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.

I remember you. You used to be an ash.

I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"

The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.

Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.

Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)