Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
TOP G ADVICE: You’re either a smart fella or a fart smella.
What do you tell someone who has depression Answer: just hang in there
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
Run, bestie, run!
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?
"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.
And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding...
...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically, "No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
