Advice jokes
Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?
Because they have no parental guidance.
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
My friends told me to stop making suicide jokes, so I hanged on.
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.
If you are homeless, get a home.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.
Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
I remember you. You used to be an ash.
I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.