Advice jokes
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
"What do you tell a person with depression?
Just hang in there, buddy!"
Top G advice: You’re either a smart fella or a fart smella.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
Run, bestie, run!
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?
"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.
And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*