Advice jokes
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Advice to the Clown telling all of the "Orphan Jokes":
If it's NOT "Funny", then DON'T POST IT!
"If you can't win, lose."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
What did the talking rope say to the man?
"Just hang in there."
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.
Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?
Because they have no parental guidance.
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
My friends told me to stop making suicide jokes, so I hanged on.
What do you say to the orphan?
"Shut up, get a mom and dad!"
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.
If you are homeless, get a home.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.