Adoption Jokes

The adoption centre threw a party. Why? Cause the parents weren't home.

Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

When some one says your adopted say “ But your still at the orphanage.”

son: Dad i know i’m adopted dad: well how do you know son: i found the adoption papers dad: that is for your mum

if you know you know

son: can i go to my friends mum? mum: no! son: dad was right i am a son of a bitch! mum: bad news but your adopted!!

I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed but I remembered you were adopted…

dad: "honey ill be right back i need to get some papers " me: "ok" falls asleep.. *wakes up in an adoption center* damn it was those kind of papers..

One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair

My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on EBay, The Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure." It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out your adopted :)

"One man's trash is another man's treasure." It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out your adopted :)

Jimmy caught his parents having sex and ask what they were doing and asked if he could join because it looked fun and hid mom ask why and he replied," Well Mommy I see you and the mailman do it and when he leaves he says 'I can't wait to cum back, that was fun!' and now you and Daddy are doing it so I wanted to try!" the dad gets angry at this and scolds the mother saying, "I can't believe you did that when I was gone babe!" the mother was very sad and then the father left and went to get divorce papers and when he left the mother told Jimmy that he'd understand when he was older. 18 years later... Jimmy has a gf and asks her to call him a sus name and she says only in the bed and he agrees, later when they both are having sex Jimmy gf asks if he used a condom or not, and he said that he didn't know what that was so then 9months later she was pregnant but abortion was illegal so she gives birth and puts the child up for adoption. A few years later Jimmy has a good job and his wife now asked to have a child and then she asked if she could call him a sus name while he did he, he said sure, and on they went with their clothes off and under the sheets, Jimmy gets a call from his boss saying he needed to go over really fast it was an emergency and so Jimmy left really fast, however, his wife was very unfaithful and called in a man to come as soon as possible and then they did it, Jimmy came home after 10-18 hours and was very happy and went to tell his wife the great new, but then he heard strange sounds coming from the room and so he wen inside and was shocked to see his father and hs wife having sex, Jimmy though didn't care that his wife had cheated on him he just said, " Well baby, tonights your lucky night" and without any hesitation ripped off his clothes and jumped in the bed and they then had a threesome and the wife said she was very happy that she had been done x2 and when Jimmy asked why she said,"Well I had to dicks in my vagina and now I'm so refreshed!" Jimmy was happy to hear that and then had a woman come over so that his wife and a woman would have a threesome again and so then Jimmy saw that it was his mother and he really didn't want to do it but his wife convinced him too and so he did it and his mother was going for Jimmy's wife more and more until Jimmy no longer was in the threesome and now only Jimmys wife and his mother were doing it, this made Jimmy mad and this bit both of their boobs and they were shocked but then they pinned him down and bit his dick and then grabbed a bottle of alcohol and made him drink until he was drunk and then he started to eat their ass' and then called his father to come to have sex again and then they all had a foursome, the wife then called the police and had then all arrested and said," You all sucked" and Jimmy said," What about you too? You sucked me!" They all died of mental desires in jail. The end.

This is a very confusing story so pls don't say any non-sex things in the comment.