Adoption jokes
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
My dad coming back.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
I was in the bank one day, and this old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
When a lady gets married, what does she borrow?
She borrows her husband's last name.
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
you.
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
Technoblade says, "Punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?"
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
Poles are as straight as adopted kids' parents.