Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.
Your adopted.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
Why does the adopted kid like playing GTA? Because he wants to be wanted.
Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
Bippity Boppity Bill Cosby!
I was in the bank one day, and this old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!
Your hairline went back faster than your adoption papers!
Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
I go to get my mail.
Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"
Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"
Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.
