Actuality jokes
What's a Ninja's worst fear?
Garmadon actually winning.
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
What do orphans and police not have in common?
The police can actually go home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
Why do orphans play GTA?
'Cause they're actually wanted.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One's actually picked.
Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?
Because they can actually land a home.
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.
Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
TIL Ariana Grande is actually a pop singer.
I thought it was a fancy coffee for white supremacists.
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*I was actually up all night watching.*
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".