Actuality jokes

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.

Cashier: Is this your final purchase?

Customer: Actually, yes it is!

My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."

Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.

Why do orphans like boomerangs?

They actually come back.

Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?

They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?

A man will actually look for the golf ball.

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

Why did the orphan become a criminal?

Because he wanted to actually be wanted.

Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?

Because they can actually buy a house.

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

Why are orphans not allowed in stores?

Because else they would actually feel at home.

What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?

In a dog pound, people actually want them.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?

A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.

Communism is actually kinda tight.

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."

When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.

Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!

What's the difference between puppies and orphans?

Puppies actually get picked.

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?

One of them actually came back.

What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?

The cat is actually cute.

What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?

The apples actually get picked.