Actuality jokes
Fun fact: The body positivity movement is the only movement without any actual movement.
What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?
The condom was actually useful at one point.
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
Don't ever say your life is a joke because jokes are actually funny.
What do orphans and police not have in common?
The police can actually go home.
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.
Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive” or something like goddam. Just take that shit somewhere else. Smfh.
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?
A man will actually look for the golf ball.
Why do orphans play GTA?
'Cause they're actually wanted.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
What do you call a rocky formation covered in meat?
Meatcanyon.
(Meatcanyon is actually a YT that has like 1M subs so watch some of his content if you want to, lol!)