Actuality Jokes

Anonymous
in Orphan

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they actually come back

Anonymous
in Depression

So my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.

Anonymous
in School

One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one then he/she should stand up. After a minute a boy stands up.

The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.

The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

9
Anonymous
in Orphan

what's the difference between puppies and orphans

the puppies actually get adopted

7
Emma
in Orphan

Why do orphans like getting kidnapped Because someone actually wants them 🤣

Anonymous
in Self Harm

My friend while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: You're priceless When we get to the checkout: I'm actually $2.50

Anonymous

Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."

Anonymous
in Orphan

Q.How does E.T have an advantage over orphans A. E.T can actually phone home

3
Dark_Shadow

Do you have dark humor?

Actually never mind, I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying..... but I decided to abort.

Zane

Rules of Dark humor: 1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits. 2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes. 3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site. - Sincerely, Zane

Mia

What's the difference between apple's and orphans apples actually get picked

I made a website for orphans but sadly it didn't have a home page.

Tenya Bailey
in Love

Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter".

Father : "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later

Son : "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"

Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."

Father : "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."

This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying.

Son : "Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because daddy is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your Father."!!!

Maciej Serek
in Orphan

What school subject does an orphan Love,. PE because they actually get picked.

aye
in Baseball

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

J0K35
in Depression

Guy: My life is like a game, I should end it.

Guy 2: Is it a hard life?

Guy: Yup

Guy 2: Then you can't kill yourself LOL

Guy 3: Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the "game"

Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.

He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.

We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)

I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

Kanye north
in Politics

What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden. The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap

Anonymous
in Feminist

What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?

At least Hitler actually did something

7
Dre Cuellar

Whats the diffrence between mexicans and stoners

Stoners actually have papers

7
Elina
in Puns

Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?

Actually I shouldn't spread it.