Actuality jokes

Yo mama so stupid, she thought Sodapop Curtis was actual soda.

What do you call an orphan who likes football?

Because someone will actually give him something.

Once I saw a retard and an Alberta separatist having a conversation.

Well, actually, it was just the Alberta separatist talking to himself.

5 Cobra Kai Facts:

1: Johnny = Daniel

2: Miguel > Robby

3: Miyagi Do = Eagle Fang

4: Chozen and Daniel > Kreese and Silver

5: Tory is actually a good person.

What is the same thing between apples and orphans?

Apples actually get picked.

What's the difference between orphans and apple trees?

The apples actually get picked.

My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)

Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?

They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

What do you call a rocky formation covered in meat?

Meatcanyon.

(Meatcanyon is actually a YT that has like 1M subs so watch some of his content if you want to, lol!)

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

Don't ever say your life is a joke because jokes are actually funny.

Why do you play Call of Duty?

I actually don't know.

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

Why does Ama like boomerangs? Because they actually come back!

What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?

One of them is actually loved.