One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one then he/she should stand up. After a minute a boy stands up.

The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he’s an idiot.

The boy says, “No, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.”

Rules of Dark humor:

  1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
  2. No saying “Me” or “My Life” as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
  3. Don’t Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
  • Sincerely, Zane

Whats the diffrence between mexicans and stoners

Stoners actually have papers

Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?

Actually I shouldn’t spread it.

What’s the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.

So. You wanna hear a joke about the wall? …Actually nah you won’t get over it

What is a pirates favorite letter … you might think it’s the R but it’s actually the C.

what’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer,and a poor kids parents getting ran over by military tractors?When grandma got ran over by a reindeer,the kids actually gave a shit.

I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared, I was actually delighted.

I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.

was actually up all night watching

Actually, It isn’t a bear joke, but bear with me here…

There was a boy called John that had no arms or legs and his friends knocked on for him asking his mam if he is coming out to play armies. His mam replies saying that he can’t play armies because he has no arms or legs. His friends say I know he isnt actually playing we are using him as a sandbag.

Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.

Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?

Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.

Why aren’t koalas actual bears? Because they dont meet the koalafications

Why did my boyfriend leaves me ?
Because he’s gay. But why did he come back to me ?

Because im actually a guy :-)

The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don’t take it seriously. Can’t believe that people actually think that was true

Why aren’t koalas actual bears? They don’ meet all the koalifications!

(Jokes for people with cancer) 1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don’t have to do this class anymore. 2: I’m dying, finally. 3: I’m sorry, I can’t go to your party because I’m expected to be dead by then. On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I’m getting checks. I hope for the best :/.

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, im hit! I think I’ve lost an electron! Are you sure? Asks the other. Im positive!

This one as actually physics(unlike some other joke here, ahem cough cough)

What’s the difference between a loser and a paper? A girl actually dates the paper.

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