Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they actually come back
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one then he/she should stand up. After a minute a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he’s an idiot.
The boy says, “No, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.”
So my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn’t actually tell me the joke.
Q.How does E.T have an advantage over orphans A. E.T can actually phone home
Rules of Dark humor:
- All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
- No saying “Me” or “My Life” as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
- Don’t Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
What’s the difference between apple’s and orphans apples actually get picked
I made a website for orphans but sadly it didn’t have a home page.
Someone asked me if I’ve ever tried to kill myself. I responded, “Absolutely. A few times actually. I’m just not very good at it.”
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were one a falling airplane. Their were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world”, so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually their are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
Whats the diffrence between mexicans and stoners
Stoners actually have papers
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually I shouldn’t spread it.
So. You wanna hear a joke about the wall? …Actually nah you won’t get over it
What’s the difference between Hitler and a feminist?
At least Hitler actually did something
Guy: My life is like a game, I should end it.
Guy 2: Is it a hard life?
Guy 2: Then you can’t kill yourself LOL
Guy 3: Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the “game”
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud… (cyndagoooooooo)
What is a pirates favorite letter … you might think it’s the R but it’s actually the C.
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C:… You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
Why aren’t koalas actual bears? Because they dont meet the koalafications
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don’t take it seriously. Can’t believe that people actually think that was true
Actually, It isn’t a bear joke, but bear with me here…
Imagine if on April first the government says hahhaha you all fell for it covid19 is fake we actually killed all those people lol