Actuality jokes
Your hairline is so bad that KSI's hairline actually looks normal.
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?
Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
Communism is actually kinda tight.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
They actually come back.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.