Accident jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.
Kids?
A man walks into a bar... Oww!
Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A: A bus full of children.
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.