Accident jokes
Paul Walker died Fast and Furious.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
A man walks into a bar... Oww!
Kids?
Memes
Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A: A bus full of children.
Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
Why did an old man fall in a well?
Because he couldn't see that well.
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.