Accident jokes
So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
I wonder why the plane got bigger and bigger, then it hit me.
Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A: A bus full of children.
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
I felt a window break once. It was pane-full!
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids drowning.
I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
What is yellow but can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
You're walking on the street when you realize that you're in the road as you feel the horn dying away.
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?