Accident jokes
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids drowning.
I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
What is yellow but can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
You're walking on the street when you realize that you're in the road as you feel the horn dying away.
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.
Why did Sally fall off of the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Sally.
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.