Accident jokes
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.