Accident jokes
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:
Sum Ting Wong.
Wei Toh Low.
Ho Lee Fuk.
Ban Din Ouch.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
Q: Why was the pilot sad?
A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. π
"What did we hit?"
"I don't know, a rock."
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
From now on, weβre gonna call shitting the bed an βAmber Alert.β