Accident jokes

From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”

I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.

L

Who's Paul Walker's close friend?

Tree.

Presidents are normal, physically.

Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.

Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.

There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.

I would tell a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."

Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.

A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."

He was in the infantry.

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.

What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?

You would be dam unlucky.

L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs.

"Russian" twists into a ditch, dead!

I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦‍♂️

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably crash and burn.

Twin Towers? No plane, plane targets.

A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.

Tonight, on Top Gear!

James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!

Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!

And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!