Accident jokes

What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"

Q: Why was the pilot sad?

A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀

"What did we hit?"

"I don't know, a rock."

Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.

I'm going to hell!

Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?

From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”

I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.

L

Who's Paul Walker's close friend?

Tree.

Presidents are normal, physically.

Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.

Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.

There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.

I would tell a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."

Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.

A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."

He was in the infantry.

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.

What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?

You would be dam unlucky.

L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs.

"Russian" twists into a ditch, dead!