Accident jokes
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?
They both collapsed.
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Why is it bad to climb a tree?
You might fall on an orphan! 🫥
Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
How do you name a disabled Asian?
Throw the wheelchair down the stairs.
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”