Ability jokes
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Alya is so retarded.
KSI driving ability.
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
Chuck Norris once stabbed the Terminator with Bruce Lee.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Why are retards good at basketball?
'Cause they dribble all the time!
Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.
Why was Stephen Hawking so good at FIFA? He had 99 dribble.
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?
Suck a big cock.
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.