Ability jokes

What gives you the power to walk through a wall?

A door.

Only a genius can say this.

I am stupid.

How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?

Four fingers and a Thu'um.

There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.

I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?

What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?

Stand up.

What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...

Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

What is better than a paralympic gold medal?

Walking! 😂😂😂

Big Mom is so fat, Trafalgar Law can’t make enough room for her!

Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?

Because physically challenged gay men do it best! 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.

I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.

Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(

What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.

A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.

Why?

The kid had no legs.

They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.

It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.

Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn’t make enough shadow clones to surround her.

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.