Ability jokes
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.
I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
What is better than a paralympic gold medal?
Walking! 😂😂😂
Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn’t make enough shadow clones to surround her.
Big Mom is so fat, Trafalgar Law can’t make enough room for her!
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?
Because physically challenged gay men do it best! 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.