Ability jokes

What gives you the power to walk through a wall?

A door.

One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!

How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?

Four fingers and a Thu'um.

Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.

What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...

I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?

What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?

Stand up.

There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.

Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?

Because physically challenged gay men do it best! 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.

Big Mom is so fat, Trafalgar Law can’t make enough room for her!

What is better than a paralympic gold medal?

Walking! 😂😂😂

I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.

Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(

What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.

A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.

Why?

The kid had no legs.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"

They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.

It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.