Worst Jokes Ever
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
Why is it cold in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Friend: Name one gay person off the top of your head.
Me: Me.
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
Q: What's red during puberty?
A: The blood on my hands.
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
The bomb.
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?
A: To shoot up the whole school.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.