Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama is so skinny, she uses floss as toilet paper.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
What is a penguin without a pen? A guin...
Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, βIβve got the power!β
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. πππ
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?
And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.
This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"
"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."
What is the difference between a Rubikβs cube and a penis? I donβt know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?
A virgin.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.