Worst Jokes Ever
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?
A virgin.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
What did the penis say to the condom?
"Cover me, I'm going in!"
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
The pilot goes "We're going down!"
The other pilot yells "Down like your syndrome?"
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan.