Worst Jokes Ever
Chuck Norris catches Pokémon with his bare hands.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
(The lobby of the Hazbin Hotel. Everyone is gathered for an emergency meeting.)
CHARLIE: Okay, everyone, listen up! There's a new group of souls coming in who passed away in a school shooting! We have to be sensitive!
VAGGIE: (Scoffs) Good luck with that.
ANGEL: (Waving a hand nonchalantly) No problem, Charlie! I’m great with kids who have issues. My advice to them would be, “Don't be in school.”
(A beat of stunned silence falls over the room. Everyone just stares at him.)
ANGEL: (He blinks, looking genuinely confused at the silence.) Wait.
(Alastor lets out a loud, static-filled laugh.)
HUSK: (Deadpan, taking a huge drink) Too soon, Angel. Too soon.
What do you call a riot full of white people?
An avalanche.
My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."
I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.
My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
Why did the three 23s not go to the orphanage?
Because they already 69'd.
What is Mexicans' favorite sport?
Cross-country.
What did the mom say to the twins?
"Go crash a plane!"
Why couldn't George Floyd become a Demon Slayer?
Because he couldn't breathe.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked at least.
Luke looks like Big Chungus and Fat Sonic.
Let's see what the orphans are gonna tell their parents about this: "Hey you buttheads, you stink!"
Looks like they didn't tell their parents.