Worst Jokes Ever
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"
Doctor: "To the morgue."
Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."
Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
No, you!
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.