Worst Jokes Ever
I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.
Was gonna make a gay joke but fuck... Cum on guys.
Wanna hear a dry joke? A desert.
Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
Why did the guitarist go to prison?
'Cause he fingered A minor.
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
-"I want my quarterback."
Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.
Potato.
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."
What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?
My boner.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.