Worst Jokes Ever
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
Super Boy from Korea.
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Coca-Cola!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
Why was Hitler bad at math?
He could only count to nein.
Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.