Worst Jokes Ever

If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.

What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."

Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.

The F in orphan stands for family... oh wait.

You got a black cat.

He was bad luck.

Everyone left you and you committed suicide.

What a CATastrophe!

What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.

What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?

I know how to use an exercise band.

Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.

What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.

I wish my grass was edgy...

then it would cut itself...

Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.

Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"

Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.

Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?

So they don't whistle on the way down!

What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?

Dumb.

Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?

... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.

My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."

Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at Halloween.

What did the Asian say to the Asian?

*Cough*

Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.

What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"