Worst Jokes Ever

Where did Lucy go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...

I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!

Was gonna make a gay joke but fuck... Cum on guys.

Wanna hear a dry joke? A desert.

Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.

Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.

- Mommy, I want a bicycle!

- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!

Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.

Davin is a pedo.

Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.

You people are sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!! None of these are funny. Sick sick sick!!!!!!!

Potato.

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

What do you call a Mexican Baptism?

Bean Dip.

I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."

What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?

My boner.

The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.

I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.

My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.