Worst Jokes Ever
Titanic: "And I'm nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!"
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.
The doctor says to the woman, "There was good and bad news." The woman says she wants the bad news first. The doctor says, "The bad news is the baby had red hair." Then he said, "The good news is, it is dead."
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
One day Johnae said, "What do you call a family outing?"
"Incest."
Low key Johnae fucks Kirby and Peach.
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.
Oliver Savage and Dr. Mummy.
Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.