Worst Jokes Ever
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Who's the fastest reader?
Me, 'cause I'll be jumping off so many stories.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)
Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
Come on guys, please let's play Roblox. My name is xX_robloxGamer420Po_Xx.