Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."
The doctor says, "Next, please."
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick.
Why don't the Amish water ski?
The horses would drown.
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.