Worst Jokes Ever
Do no doctor start with A and A+?
Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A one-eyed fish, you smart ass!
What games do you play if you are bored?
Board games.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok, he didn't either!
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
Pedophiles are just fucking, immature assholes.
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
My dishwasher is broke.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
Yo mama such a quitter, she di[ed].