Worst Jokes Ever
I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.