What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
"Dad, how do stars die?" -- "Usually an overdose."
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
