Worst Jokes Ever
I'm sweating like Michael Jackson at a kindergarten.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
Orphans: Sad, Depressed, Lonely, Virgin.
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.
brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
What is stronger than family?
The tree Paul Walker hit.
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide bomber actually does something when triggered.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!