My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"
Worst Jokes Ever
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
When we take a family photo, you are the background.
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
Your hairline is so far gone that you could build a runway.
Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
What shows do orphans dream of?
Full House or Fuller House.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
It's good that Canada doesn't have the death sentence for treason anymore.
Danielle Smith is so fucking fat she'd get stuck in the gallows.
