Worst Jokes Ever
One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.
You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
Are you suicide, 'cause you're always on my mind?
A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
What is long and not hairy?
The conga line in the cancer department.
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
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All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.
Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?
You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
You have Chinged your last Chong.