Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?
The vegetable gets picked.
Like this comment if: - Your mom is sus - Your mum is sus
Dislike if: - You are horny.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"
The tree ghosted her.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple? The apple falls from the tree.
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."