Worst Jokes Ever
We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...
Unless you're being raped by a clown.
D: Johnny, Johnny.
J: Yes, Papa?
D: Eating sugar?
J: No, Papa!
D: Telling lies?
J: No, Papa!
D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)
How do you know your acne is getting out of hand? The blind start reading your face.
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because when they spawned in a Minecraft world, all they got was plains.
One day a son and his grandad were smoking.
Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)
Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?
Your hairline goes all the way back to when Burger King was a Burger Prince.
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
I don't like calculator jokes because they are too overused.
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!
I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.