Worst Jokes Ever
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
What does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
They're both predators.
What do you call an emo strip club?
Suicidal Thots.
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address, and my phone number.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, but sadly, none of them seemed to have worked.
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
No one shuts up about them.
What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
Whatβs the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"
I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! π€¬
Did you hear about the Chinese student?
Me neither.