What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?
Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
