Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.

Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.

Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"

"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"

"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx

I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.

What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?

A Lymphomaniac.

I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.

Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.

A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.

First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.

It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."

He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.

She walks away and says ok.

The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"

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    • What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?

    Their ankles.

    Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.

    A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"

    The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"

    The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."