Worst Jokes Ever

So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.

What does Santa say about my mom? HO HO HO!

Doctor, what is wrong with me?

You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.

What's worse than 5 babies in a dumpster?

5 dumpsters in a baby.

I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.

What is the difference between babies and dogs?

I don't eat dog parts.

How are babies and watermelons similar?

They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.

How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?

With a blender.

We're all unique, which is something we all have in common.

I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone, and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.

I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.

I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.

The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

Tell all the skeleton jokes you want, but I've got thick skin.

How are babies and the elderly similar?

They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.

Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!

Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.

Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!

Edna: Hey there big boy!

Big boy: You need to stop doing this.