Worst Jokes Ever
I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years old, in the basement, and locked up.
I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked his mom.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Stop.
What time do you call me tomorrow?
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 1 to actually change the light bulb and the other 98 to suck each others' cocks and shit like that.
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What is cats and dogs' favorite story and movie?
"Romeow and Drooliet!"
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
So I went to the doctor's and the doctor said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign."
So I said, "Aquarius."
And the doctor said, "Nah mate, you've got cancer."
Do you want to play Titanic?
When I say iceberg, you go down on me.
What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?
Long sleeves.
What is your favorite color?
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
What's your favorite type of flour?
Don't know.
Mines self-raising.
What did Sushi 'A' say to Sushi 'B'?
- Wassaaaa....B!
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?