Worst Jokes Ever
Everyone when we're in the cafeteria singing happy birthday to some random person: "Happy birthday to you..., Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear
Me in the background: Happy deathday to you..., Happy deathday to you, happy death day dear___, happy death day to you!"
Girls with the name Beoni are white.
Girls with the name Zoe have big foreheads.
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
What did one canyon say to the other?
You stay here, I'm gonna rise up on ahead.
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
Why Jake?
FRRR N
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
(Knock knock) Who's there? Accident. Accident who? Accident you.
Want to hear a joke? Look at the Miami Dolphins football record.
"Baaad boy."
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.
I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.
... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
Say this out loud: "Gabe Itch."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said "you know you wanna". Jill said yes, pulled down her dress, and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.