Worst Jokes Ever
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Me say, "Crack my finger."
My hubby crack my finger.
Now say it backwards.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
What goes after the butt?
The POST-erior.
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
What is red and shaped like a bucket?
A red bucket.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
Girl: Hey. Boy: Hi? Girl: I need to tell you something... Boy: WHAT? Girl: I like you. Boy: And I hate you. Boy: YOU'RE A CHICKEN 🐔🐔 🐔 Girl: I HATE YOU YOU POOP 💩💩💩💩 Girl: LOSER L Boy: I thought you said you liked me. Girl: SHUT UP CHICKEN/POOP 💩💩🐔 🐔 Boy: GIRL BYE Girl: Bye Felicia.
Is your oven running?
Then you better go catch it!
What’s yellow and can’t swim??
A school bus with elementary kids.
Is your tap water running well?
Beta, go catch it!
My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑
Yo mama so fat, Trump used her like a wall.
Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?
Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.
My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...
Q: Why did the first Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down.
Q: Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going.
Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree? A: It was tied to the fifth koala.
Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree? A: Peer group pressure.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.