Worst Jokes Ever

Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."

How do angels 😇 make holy water 💧?

They boil the hell out of it.

Why do orphans enjoy orgasms?

Why are orphans so gayyyyyyy?

Why was the elephant woozy?

Because he was trunk.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"

Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...

Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.

Why did the hobo go back to the future?

To stop himself from wasting all his money on a rigged casino machine.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they don't know where home is.

How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?

There’s a stairway to heaven.

A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

Johnathon

"I fancy Hunter, my big sugar daddy," said the orphan, clearly lying.

Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock? It’s a little meteor.

I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"

Question: What's the smallest thing on earth?

Answer: Your brain.

I took 7 coins from someone. He even came back from the dead to get them.