Worst Jokes Ever
Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water.
But after jumping in the ocean, it's 100%, just like my depression.
Mother: We need to talk about sex...
Jason: Oh, sex, tell me what do you wanna know.
Jason had a big whooping from his mother and big spanking from his dad.
If you are a robot, you cannot talk.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.
I don't ever really bother women, but when I do, I usually just want to talk. I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5, I get shutdown so fast. I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
What's yellow and smells of Marge? Homer Simpson's fingers!
You guys wanna hear a joke?
My LOVE LIFE.
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
Corona be like:
Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.
*snap*
My grandfather has the heart of a lion!! 🦁
In a jar on his desk along with a lifetime ban from the zoo...
Why did the orphan go to church?
So that they had someone to call father.
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Social distancing.
An old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her off the edge without knowing it was her cash she wanted to check, so I died to help her!