Worst Jokes Ever
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants 👖
Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.
Are you a toaster?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
High school is amazing. Like if you agree!
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
You a cunt.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?
Because there is no ramp to heaven.
What's a dog's dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
"Paper is 2D!" said Pen.
"No, it's 3D!" said Pencil.
After Pencil proved it to Pen, Pen said, "Oh, I suppose you're write."