Worst Jokes Ever
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
What is different about priests and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.
What would Martin Luther King be if he was white? Alive.
Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A: To hide up cherry trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
Why is it hard having a relationship with an astronaut?
Because they are always so distant. :-]
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.
In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
39, 41, 43, AK, 47... AK-47.
1, 3, 5, M, 9... M-9.
When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.
Bonjour all ;-) , nd here a frog ( French) joke lol.
Qui a inventé le mètre et qui a inventé le centimètre? (Who invented the meter, and who invented the centimeter?)
Answer: Adam à inventé le mêtre, parce qu'il voulait le (mettre) de dans... (Adam invented the meter because he wanted to put it in).
Eve à inventée le centimetre, parce qu'elle voulait, le sentir-metre (centimetre) Eve invented the centimeter, because she wanted to feel it when going in...
What's both red, white and sometimes purple?
My arms...
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”