Worst Jokes Ever
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?
Me: Yeh, of course.
My Bff: Ok which one?
Me: You know... the black one.
Me: Like my soul...
My Bff: Jeez you ok?
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.
When did “yo” mean Hello?
They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."
Why don’t mountains take things seriously?
Because they’re hill areas.
What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.
What did one Koala say to the other?
"Help me I'm burning. Aaaugh!!! Oh fuck oh fuck I'm on fire!! AAAAaugh!"
"Knife to meet ya."
What time is it when you say "what?"
Time to start over!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ididap.
Ididap who?
That's the joke, you did a poo!
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.