Worst Jokes Ever
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips? Because they need parent permission.
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
Mississippi is a long word. How do you spell it?
What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?
A self-fie.
Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?
Because it's male bonding.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.
Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"
Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"
Sally fell off the swing.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Sally.
Say hi to outer space. Hi, now say how are you doing to the moon. Hi, how are you doing? Why are you wasting your time? XD lol
China wants their name on everything but the m.f. virus.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.
I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.
Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂
If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.