Worst Jokes Ever
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandpa is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandma is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!
Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!
Survives until tomorrow.
Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*
Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!
(If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)
Get confused with Confucius!
What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
Your mom stinks.
That is my joke.
You mom doesn’t really stink.
I know I am stupid. 🤕
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
If you're gay, then what the f*** are you doing trying to walk straight?
What is a show for kids?
Barney.
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
I'm Batman.
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
He’s not dead, just his storage unit.
What pictures did turtles take?
Shell-fies!
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
What is boring? Talking about boring things.
What is the difference between a tree 🌲 and a car 🚘?
A car can drive, and a tree 🌳 cannot drive.
What is my favorite color? Yellow.
When I get hungry 😋