Worst Jokes Ever
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
What type of place would Papyrus hang out at?
The SPA-ghetti!
*insert ba dum tss here*
There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.
You're so fat your ass has 2 zip codes.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"
Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?
GHOST MUSTERD
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
What did the brother say to the other brother? "You are brother, brother."
You are family.
So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(
Nosy.
A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!