Worst Jokes Ever
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.
"I will Always Love You!"
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they have no home.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!
Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.
Friend: What kind?
Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.
Friend: That's not funny..
Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.
Friend: I'm calling your mom.
Me: She knows.
Friend: What's she doing to help, then?
Me: She's supposed to help?
Friend: Have you told your dad?
Me: I will when he comes back.
Friend: Where is he?
Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.
Friend: ....
Me: What?
Friend: Why?
Me: Why what?
Friend: Why would you joke like that?
Me: I was joking..
Friend: I know.
Me: Oh. I didn't know.
Friend:...
Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
What is Stephen Hawking's mum?
Your mum!
Think about you are so fucking high that you are walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Test.
What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?
He used a bus.
Campbell.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
Why do orphans only buy iPhone XS?
Because it has a home button.