Worst Jokes Ever
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
The joke is my life.
Why can't you ever fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday!
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
"Up your butt and around the corner!"
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."
The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
Hey, I broke up with your girl.
-Me: What? Why?
Wait, what?
-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
Look under...
Under where?
You just said underwear!
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?
Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."