Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
Why do I have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy?
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?
A: Because they can't find home.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.
Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?
Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.
Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.
Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!
Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...
NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
-->[]life death[]<--
Why did the orange stop? Because it ran out of juice.
-->[] go through the door if you can.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they can't put a house.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Hi, I'm Bob.
So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ my titties, and then I felt a shoe get shoved all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE’S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched, and got smacked in the face. Went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF r u starin at," I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I though this this isnt over motherfucker imma find u and kill u next thing i new i was in the hospital they told me why tf were u fighting a stops sign? I said what u were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign i sad bitchi aint crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.