Worst Jokes Ever

What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?

campaign contribution to the Republican Party.

Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?

A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.

My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait.

Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.

My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies.

I will never forget my grandfather's last words: “The fuck you doing with that knife?”

Dad, am I adopted?

NO! Why would I ever choose you?

Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.

Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."

Someone cutting the cheese then farted.

Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"

What has 50 legs but can't walk?

25 disabled children.

I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.

Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.

It's only rape.

If she finds out.

I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.

What do you expect when you get out of a bar?

Your mom naked LOLOLOLOL.

What is red and very rare?

A child in a blender.