Worst Jokes Ever

What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.

How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.

Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.

Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.

Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."

James Bond: Vodka martini.

Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.

James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?

Doctor: "What's your zodiac sign?"

Patient: "Cancer?"

Doctor: "What a coincidence."

"Gay Furry Femboys are cool."

Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!

What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.

What do you get if you cross Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? A blonde n1gger cunt.

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

China.

Isn't having depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?

(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)

A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."

Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.

How do Chinese people name their babies?

They chuck a pan down the stairs.

Like if your dad is abusive.

Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!