Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.
Worst Jokes Ever
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me when he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
What do you call a pansexual pedophile? Jesus.
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.
Jokes suck.
What do you call a lesbian? Me.
Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.
Let's not make any more Indian jokes. All your jokes are trash. Please stop.
A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
