Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.

Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."

Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"

What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?

A school shooting.

What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?

They wait to be filled with a big load.

The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.

  • 1

    • "Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.

    (Later)

    "Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"

  • 1

    • My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.

    I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂

  • 3

    • My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

    So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”

  • 1

    • I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

  • 1

    • What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

    They both leave children's rooms with an empty sack.

    What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?

    "♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"

    I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."

  • 1

    • What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?

    Kids play with both of them.