Worst Jokes Ever

Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.

Why do orphans hate family-size candy?

Because they can't share it with their family.

I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.

Why do orphans hate Christmas?

Father Christmas isn’t a thing.

I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.

Let me know if you can't cum.

I was at school when I remembered I forgot my necklace, then I screamed out, "Shit, I forgot Grandpa!"

Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.

Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.

Why is sex like math?

You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"

Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"

God says, "You are what you are."

Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."

Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"

Way down South: "You awake, mom?"

What's the difference between MJ and myself?

Nothing at all.

I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.

Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.

I like your mom naked.

Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.

When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.

But when you do, people scream and run away.

Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

A: You slap her.

(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!