Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t orphans f*ck their mom?
Because they don’t have one.
What is the difference between a cow and me?
Nothing.
Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?
1 scent.
I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?
2 pears.
I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?
3 coppers.
I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?
4 Lincolns.
I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?
NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!
Why did the astronaut bring the seeds to space?
Because he wants to planet the seed! 🤣🤣🤣
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
What can hold anything on the moon? A crater.
What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the Covid-19 patients to stay positive.
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
The Titanic basically nominated all the passengers for the ice bucket challenge.
What do you call a bunch of microcephalics in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry, it's just a joke."
Why didn't Neptune marry Saturn?
Because he knew he wasn't hot!
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"
What did the chancla say to the belt?
"It's time."