Worst Jokes Ever
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.
I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
What's the difference between MJ and myself?
Nothing at all.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.
I like your mom naked.
Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.
I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
How do you blindfold an Asian? String!